[Tradjazz] [Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work

[bpraster]

As a great ''washtub'' player ( and double on "washboard" ) I must say that
I have broken every one of Ricks ''PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND'' ( THINGS?)...
  
 Heck! I even played with %^u*^^%*(  AND &^#$*()$...    God, I miss it
 
  ( 74 yr old )  Wild Willie
 
-------Original Message-------
 
From: Bud Black
Date: 10/3/2006 8:05:49 PM
To: tradjazz at list.okom.com
Subject: Re: [Tradjazz] [Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work
 
Come on, people.  Rick's post is satire, pure and simple.  And, I might add,
hilarious.  Let's not take ourselves too seriously.
 
Bud Black 
 
-------Original Message-------
 
From: David Richoux
Date: 10/03/06 19:46:16
To: Gluetje1 at aol.com
Cc: tradjazz at list.okom.com; dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com;
jazzmusiciansforum at JazzMusiciansForum.talklist.com
Subject: Re: [Tradjazz] [Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work
 
I am not Rick, but this message was posted before on some jazz lists
and I have it on high authority that he is Really, Really, Really,
Really, Really, Really not kidding.
 
100% Fact!
 
Really  ;-)
 
(I may be wrong)
Dave Richoux
 
 
On Oct 3, 2006, at 3:31 PM, Gluetje1 at aol.com wrote:
 
>
> Rick, I am so naive that I have to ask if you are kidding?  Because
> if  you
> are serious, you have stated so many things you will not accept
> that you
> qualify for musician's disability.  Anyhow, thanks for the
> exhaustive list  of
> things that bug someone.  Makes me less than humble about my
> tolerance  level by
> comparison.
> Ginny
>
> In a message dated 10/3/2006 8:59:53 A.M. Central Daylight Time,
> knittelsportland at juno.com writes:
>
> Rick  Knittel - The Maine Street Paraders
> 37 Ship Channel Road; South Portland,  Maine 04106-5136
> Bus phone; (207)-741-2407; fax 2409; Cell: (207)-233-3480;  Home;
> (207)-799-6382
> E-mail; Knittelsportland at juno.com; Winter (mid Jan  to mid April)
> Office;
> 7657 Bergamo Ave; Sarasota, FL 34238-4765;  Phone/Fax; (941)-924-5186
>
> Clarinetist Looking for Work
>
> 16+  year's professional experience. Specializing in serious
> presentations
> of  pre-WWII traditions of clarinet performance including New Orleans
> Jazz,  Brazilian Choro, and French West Indian Biguine. Large
> repertoire
> of  jazz
> standards.   Reading OK, Travel OK,  Basic linguistic  skills in
> French,
> German, and Italian.  No drugs, health problems, or  dietary
> limitations.
> Union member in good standing.  No social,  political, or religious
> affiliations.   Doubles on alto or tenor  saxophone negotiable.
>
>
>
> (I own a soprano, but in accordance with  well-established codes of
> gentlemanly conduct, I do not play one.)
> PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND to this message IF:
>
> Your band, concert, or  project name uses rhyme, alliteration, puns,
> animal names, or includes any  of the following words or their
> variants:
> Swingers, Strutters, Stompers,  Ramblers, Hot, Dixieland, Tribute, or
> Legacy.
> [For example: Dixie Dogs  of Des Moines, Hot Jumpin' Jazz Lizards, The
> Four-Skinny-Minnies Swing  Band, Down-Home-Ragtimers Tribute to Wilbur
> Sweatman, etc.]   The  use of All-Stars' is negotiable provided
> some team
> sport or athletic  activity is involved;
> Your dress code or group's uniform includes ANY of  the following:
> White pants or shoes, suspenders, matching golf shirts,  matching
> blazers,
> or any type of hats. Anything made of polyester is out of  the
> question,
> and as a friend in the fashion industry says, 'Denim is just  never
> a good
> idea.'
> I also require assurance that the performance will  not be within
> 50 yards
>
> of a garter, striped vest, bowler hat, straw  boater, feather boa or
> anything with sequins;
> Your rhythm section  includes electric keyboard and/or bass guitar.
> Washboard is negotiable in  the proper context, although offhand I
> have no
> idea what that would be;
> You or any of your band members have a spouse or girlfriend who
> sings,
> purports to sing, or so much as threatens to sing;
> Anyone  involved in your proposed performance attempts a 'scat' vocal
> More than  half of the selections in a typical program consist of
> vocal
> numbers or are  limited to the keys of Bb and F.   Gospel programs
> are  an
> acceptable exception, but the singer better be damned brilliant;
> Your program includes any of the following:   note-for-note
> transcriptions, sing-alongs, or banjo features.   Furthermore, if
> there is
> tuba or sousaphone their solos must be limited to  a maximum of one
> per
> set and may never exceed two choruses;
> At  anytime during your performance, parasols are deployed.
> Legitimate
> second-lines are the ONLY exception, in which case an additional
> 25% for
> strolling/marching applies;
> Your proposed venue spends more on  sound reinforcement or
> amplification
> than artist fees.
> Compensation for  your job includes ANY of the following: All the
> beer you
> can drink, a free  meal, good publicity or exposure, or bringing a
> spouse
> girlfriend, or  companion for free.  hank you in advance for your
> consideration.  --
> _______________________________________________
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Dixielandjazz mailing list
> Dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com
> http://ml.islandnet.com/mailman/listinfo/dixielandjazz
 
 
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